Does The Heart Know Best?
by Egglette
Summary: While packing the last of the green titan's belongings after his death, Raven comes across a poem she had given him and nearly forgotten about. The poem brings back painful and romantic memories, as well as Terra.


_Does the heart really know best?__  
__Does it pay to follow something that could be living on a dream? __  
__Love is merely a word, right? _

_Questions that will never be answered, many enough to drive anyone insane.__  
__And perhaps the journey was in vain? __  
__What would happen then? _

_Would you move on? __  
__Would the thought constantly linger in your mind? __  
__'What if…?' _

_We must write our own story based on our own judgment.__  
__Why listen to a figment of your imagination?__  
__Rather then the organ that gives you life? _

_Are they really 'the one'?__  
__Or is there someone else, waiting for you? _

_If you leave to find out,__  
__Your return might not be a welcomed one.__  
__The futile attempt for happiness turned against you,__  
__And you are alone once again. _

_Perhaps there is no such thing as love;__  
__Just a subcategory of passion.__  
__A trick played on us by something that yearns for fervor. _

_You can choose any road in life.__  
__One could lead you to what could be happiness.__  
__A long life with someone you have mutual feelings for?__  
__But is that really bliss? _

_Another remains undecided until the moment arrives.__  
__Living on the edge of your seat,__  
__Taking whatever chance is thrown at you. _

_You never know until you've lived in the moment.__  
__By then, it could be too late._

Tears splattered onto the paper, smearing and blurring words. She clutched the poem she had so long ago written and crumpled it into a wad of paper.

She threw it into a black waste bin on the other side of the room and wiped her tears from her face. She had given that poem to him as a sign that she had cleansed herself from the loneliness that grew in her and that she was ready to embrace him. She remembered the night she wrote the poem.

* * *

_'Raven?' Beast Boy had asked in his way of being so innocent. 'Are you okay?'_

_'No.' She had replied coldly. 'And I haven't been for a long time.' _

_

* * *

_

She hiccupped and cried softly, holding her legs to her chest. She cradled herself ever so slightly.

He had been there for her; he never lost hope. He had comforted her, he had given his life to save her own. She had reread it a few nights before the accident and had thought to herself:

_'How ignorant I was.' _

Now she was beginning to rethink what she said. She found what she desired most; only to have it slip through her grasp. She referred to the last verse of the poem.

_You never know until you've lived in the moment.  
By then, it could be too late._

She saw how real it was, how she had pinned it so perfectly it had been like she had foreseen the future. She didn't know what it would be like until he was really gone; but how could she have anticipated it?

Once he had done what was done, she knew it was ultimately too late. In a way, she knew that she had saved him from suffering. He had gone through the same problems when with Terra. He had poured his heart out to her, and she had torn it and two, only to disregard it as nothing. A playful crush that she had used to gain even more control over them. And when he thought he had seen her at the High School, he remembered her sacrifice and saw it as a sign she had truly changed and was given a second chance at life. And so he had pursued her, and she had broken his fragile heart again.

And when he found comfort in the dark, quiet girl of the team who had doubted Terra from the start, she knew she couldn't break it again. She wanted to be the one to absorb his pain, she wanted to be the one who suffered; not him.

He died a hero's death, and one day, she would join him.

She heard a knock at the door.

It was Cyborg.

"Raven?" He asked, placing a comforting hand on her petite shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"No," She said with a tone of reminisce. "And I haven't been for a long time."

* * *

**I hoped to make it sad.**

**I wrote this poem a while ago. Its in my profile as well.**

**As I was rereading it on my myspace blog the other night, I thought:**

**'Hey, this could be an interesting fanfic with Raven.'**

**The line where she says:**

**'No, and I haven't been for a long time.'**

**Was based off of something that I said to my parents. **

**In all, Beast Boy sacrificed himself to save Raven from her death, and she was rereading a poem she had written when she felt alone. The poem brings back memories of her romance with him, and of Terra. I really hope you enjoyed it; it was another one shot at the Raven/BB relationship -- only with more angst.**

**Reviews aren't necessary, but I'd really like to know what you thought of it.**


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